Aim for it. Gain it.

If YOU are reading this...

2006-05-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

hello! :) i've just been notified tt there are many ppl reading this blog. If you find yourself browsing through(which you are), pls drop a little comment so tt i know you are there... also, pls feel free to express yourself on any issue i write abt(within social etiquette!) :) tt way, i'll be encouraged to write more. so if u like listening to me, let me know through your comments :) thanks!!! hear from you soon

Catching the moment- a pause in time

2006-03-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

I miss writing down my days. Its been three months since i've graduated from sec sch. I'm lost choosing amongst baking,dancing and business. i'm excited about what each prospect would bring. bhut I fear of losin the passion in what i choose to do. i've seen them happering to so many people.I don't want that to happen to me.

boO!

2006-02-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

I'm BACK!... from my multiple month journey exploring the pits and turnpoints of adulthood. It's been outrageous... after this trip, i realised I had the world's Greatest MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhh! i'm really bursting with spice now....my legs are twitching.... i better stop... okay.. gonna bake banana muffins now. call me up if you smell something burning

Just me

2005-06-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

In 18 days time, it'll be 20 June. I'll be turning 16 at about 8am. I've been asked numerous times what I'll like to do on that day.

Family history. My mother's mother(my grandmother) was deep into preperation for my mother's 16th birthday. It was the first real birthday party my mother was to have. Grandma cooked, sewed, decorated. My mother remembers her mother's love. She was very excited and held her upcoming birthday party in great anticipation. Nearing that day, Grandma passed away. My mother was devasted. But the show had to go on. It was the result of her mother's love. On that day, her friends sang "16 candles". Since then, the 16th birthday was always held in great respect.

Time...slow down

2005-06-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

Time passes so fast. Its amazing. I know that every day I live, is another day of God's mercy, grace and blessing. Sometimes I get so angry with myself for taking time foregranted. For waiting for things to happen. For procrestinating. For forfeiting opportunities.

I'm a teen. I've "a lot of time" ahead of me. I hate it when that mentallity kicks in. I reflect and think, " I could be doing so much more." Time is a blessing. Every day you wake to is a blessing. Another day of hope, joy, love, self-seeking, freedom in Christ, serving. Let us not take time foregranted. Life is a long race, but it'll be over before you know it.

Wait...

2005-05-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

One of the most important thing in a growing christian's life is to wait. Many times, we let the excitement of being filled with the Holy Spirit carry us away from the presence and the will of God. We want to do so many things for Father God that you end up forgetting about Him. THis is very dangerous as in doing so one becomes a professional christian.

I hovered near there once. I grew up spiritually and slowly gained the respect of others as a rising leader. Slowly, pride began to mount up, blocking me from my first love. Slowly, I began to lose sight of the Person who had raised me up. I got to the point of thinking that I could achieve all that I had done through Him on my own. I was wrong. I became more self-centred. I did everything I could to keep people's image of me as a spiritual person. I called up friends to ask how their week was just to let them know that I bothered to call them; not to share their burden or hear their problems. I felt very dry and hated myself for taking forgranted the grace and mercy that God had showered upon me.

All that happened because I was too impatient to wait. Wait for God to move before you do. WHen you do that, your whole focus is on HIm; doing what He wants you to do. And at every moment you know that He is tangibly with you. That is the kind of relationship He wants to have with us. So wait.

A personal note

2005-05-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

If you've been wondering what's been happening during the February-May break, I'll tell you it was all quite unplanned. I never expected that I would not be blogging for three months. Its been an uneven ride; learning the rise and falls of life. Learning to put God first. Frankly, the past few months have been hazy. But now the whole mess is clearing up. The best kind of life is the kind in which a person is totally and daily dependent on God.

Through these months, God has connected me with several people to encourage me and help me unleash my destiny. Brother Raj-I've known him since I was five. But recently he has been helping me to grow even more in the Lord and also in the other areas of my life. Sometime in your life, according to God's perfect plan, you will meet people who will help you and encourage you to grow.

I've been very blessed by a friend I have come to know in the last 2 months. In the name of privacy, I shant disclose his name. Initially, he struck me as very quiet and shy. But as I get to know him more, I'm amazed at the resemblance between the both of us. He can be quiet yet really sociable when he is comfortable; same with me. He went through things I went through. But we do have some differences too. He is more domineering whereas i'm pretty "soft" though I can be domineering at times too.

The thing about him that inspires me is his never ending yearning for more of Christ. He is doing the one thing I failed to do: persevere. Although I came and was committed to the church before he was, I feel like a young christian around him. Though he doesn't know it, he has encouraged me a greatly. He has made me realise that I can step up where I had fallen.
If you're reading this and you know its you i'm talking about, I just want to thank you for being you... and don't underestimate your potential in Christ. You are an inspiration to many of us :)

Knowing God, Knowing me

2005-02-05T23:49:00.000-08:00

You know, many times people wonder "who am I?" Well, one thing is for sure: you can never asnwer that question yourself. How can a product know exactly what it is for? only its master knows. Likewise, Father God, who created you and me, knows what we are here for.
Life is only at its best when God is with us. Cause then we are whole. THe more we know who He is, the more we know who we are. For real. You are more then a head in a crowd of 6 billion people. Each one different, each one special. and be sure that that is NOT another way of saying no one is.

Love Me

2005-01-17T21:59:00.000-08:00

As a continuation of my last post, Yes, I did go for the testing. I have already gotten back the results and the phsycologist is applying for me to have a time extention. If you ask me, I feel pretty good. I have finally come to terms with my conditions and excepted myself for who I am.

Lately, I have been asking myself. What matters most? What makes you know where you belong? What makes you know who you are. You look at your reflection in the mirror and you see a person full of life... a person you want to learn to love more. A person you know can do great wonderful things. A person with a destiny. What matters most? Who are you?

Everytime I see my reflection I remind myself that I am more then a beautiful person, as people say. I am a person who is loving and caring. I also am not many things. I can't socialise like many others can. I often have abrubt reactions to things. I am not perfect. Yet I love myslef. Do you? Do you wake up every morning praising God for making you you?

Many people blame themselves for not being who they want to be. If you are one of them, stop pointing your finger at yourself. Know that someone loves you dearly; that someone wants more than anything else that you learn to love yourself. Love yourself for how you look; for how you talk; everything about you. Maybe there are some bad habits you know you have to change. That does not make you a bad person.

When you start loving yourself, you realize how wonferfully made you are no matter what others say! And you will start focusing on your strengths rather then your weaknesses. Keep pressing on and know you are loved.

Tears and Joy mixed in a Pot...He loves U NO Less

2004-12-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

I am sort of in a fix. I am currently studying in a govenment school. Being Dyslexic, I have "special prvileges". One of them is that I do not need to take chinese, like the others have to. Another is that I can have extra time during exams and tests. However, I need a cert to allow me to get the extra time. To get the cert for my O'levels, I have to go through phsycological testing. THe first testing is on the 20 dec and the second on 12 Jan. I would have to pay a basic of $100. Amounts may increase according to phsycologist speculation.
However, money is not the main concern for me now. It is whether I go for the testing or not. I mean, I'm a human being...and if others can finish the exam papers during the stipulated time then why can't I? But if I go for the testing and pass, I would get extra time to do my papers. And then it would be less stressful for me...
I just get mixed up here. I don't know whether I should go ahead with it.
I am no les of a human. To add to it, I have to give my answer( whether I want to go ahead with the testing or not) by wednesday, tomorrow.
Although I really do not know what to do, I belief that God is with me. And whether I go through the testing or not would not make Him love me less. He is with me right now, as I am writing this. Warmth feels my heart.

And so it is with you too. Whoever you may be, from whatever race of life, Know that God is with you, and whatever you do will not make HIm love you less.

Time flies by...now here I am

2004-12-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

Exams have been over for two months now. I fared badly for it. However, I know brooding over it will prove to no avail. I'm studying during my free times, which happen to be a lot as I am currently on holiday.

Today, I was listening to the radio. The speaker was a relationship doctor. He said "ask your loved one this question everyday; what is one thing which I can do to make myself a better husband/wife/brother/sister/cousin/friend/aunt/uncle?" THe answers, followed with actions, caused the relationship to blosom. You would find yourselves relating to each other more OPENLY.
With love,
Spring flowers in Winter

PerSonally MeE

2004-09-19T23:37:00.000-07:00

It is 10 days to the exams and counting. To be honest, I'm feeling jittery. I have loads of chapters to revise although I started doing so earlier on.

Resons for me to feel nervous:
-I did not do well for mid-year exams
-THere are concepts and answer structures I cannot seem to understand
-If I fail, I will lose one year of my life cause I will be retained
-If I fail this year, what is stopping me from failing next year?

THese doubts are filling my head right now, as I am typing this. BUt the book which Love wrote holds promises which will never break.
Promises of Love:
-HE will NEVER forsake me
-I can do ALL things through HIM who strengthens ME
-ALL things work for GOOD to those who love HIM
-He will take my BURDENS and give me HIS YOKE which is LIGHT

I know I need not worry no more, cause LOVE's PROMISES will always be kept. I have a lot of work to do. But i'm going to spend some time releasing and rejoicing in LOVE's presence. SO tata for now..... or maybe you should come into LOVE's presence too!

Love will NoT Leave U Alone

2004-09-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

"Growing up, we slowly become one unit. no longer a part of a family, but on your own.
Everything you want to accomplish you have to do it on your own. You are alone. If you fail, you lose. Its a scary world."

Felt that way before? I know i did. Ten years ago, I was being looked after 24/7. I had my clothes ironed for me, I had toys to play with which i did not buy. Delicious food was layed on the table daily. I had nothing to worry about.
Time swept over me, loosening me out of the branch of the family rose. It came like a gardener, with scissors in hand, cut me from the branch, and left me to grow on my own.
If i failed in exams, my future will be grey. IF i do not have friends now, I will have lesser friends in the future. If i do not learn to be responsible, I will be left to waste.

This insecurity brought me fear, and i feard to step out and live. what if I did something wrong? I will be doomed.

Before I could close myself off from the world, Love tapped on the door of my heart. Pure Love offered me a home in which i would never have to leave. Wonderful Love gave me new hope... Love offered me safety and guidance. But above all, LOve gave me a destiny. And Love has stayed by my side... and always will.

BaNaNa Cake

2004-09-06T01:49:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, 4 september 2004, I baked my frist banana cake. The whole process was pretty funny. I kept jumping up and down while praying earnestly and anxiously that the cake will turn out right. And it did, by God's Grace.
Parts of the cake was well risen and puffy while other parts were soft and nicely chewy. THe cake was exactly the way i wanted it to be. but looking at it in a different view, the cake actually represents our life. Some parts of our life is puffy and you feel like you are floating in the clouds, while others are so dense with tension. But after going through everything and looking back, the experiences produce something so wonderful- a delicious character that was molded by the heat of God's love.

To RuggeR GuY :)

2004-08-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

Baby Owl has flown away,
To where the sun is shining

THere, Baby Owl blooms and becomes a swan
so elegant and beautiful,
but more than that,
A swan that lives by light.

Baby Owl would never have left the wilderness,
and search for the pastures,
Without the help of Rugger Guy

THis new swan, however,
is as fragile as a snow flake
A firm knock is all it takes
to brake this flake,
and so it is with baby swan

Baby swan needs someone to guide her through
And she has found that someone in you.
( "you"- Springflowersinwinter's father and king.
He can be your father too, if you let him lead you.)

SpEcIAl ThIngS hApPEn in WeiRd WayS

2004-08-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

Today, a freind ran away from home. This friend I do not know very well though I have known this friend for the most of my life. I did not know what this friend would do when this friend was angry. I did not know where this friend would go when this friend felt sad. But this friend ran away from this friend's home, this friend's family.
When I heard the disapperaance of this friend, this friend's sister and my brother and I started to pray. I have no idea why this friend ran away. But as we prayed, a passion arose in my heart. He was lost, near to be found, but not yet home. To me, i think it took such a major event to make me realise that hearts are fragile, and can be easily shattered.
Fortunately, this friend's father found this friend. Without the passion in his heart, the little thread of love that attached this friend's heart to the family heart would have been worn out, torn, and gone.
God loves this friend that he led this friend's father to where this friend was. Because of that, reconciliation took place, and this friend is lost no more, back to a place where he can learn to love again. And as much as God loves this friend, God loves you too.

saying "hi"

2004-08-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

welcome all you people! haha...hi!!!Thanks for visiting and keep smiling! Cause someone loves YOU!!!